


Upwards and Onwards

by gloowel



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Jack Zimmermann's Overdose, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 22:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13645992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloowel/pseuds/gloowel
Summary: Jack is just happy.----For Bitty's Valentines 2018





	Upwards and Onwards

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for [nevermindedanyway](https://nevermindedanyway.tumblr.com) on Tumblr! It was a lot of fun writing this mini piece and I really hope they enjoy it! Happy Valentine's Day 2018, everyone <3

Four days before Jack and Bitty come out, they leave early for Canada with Shitty and Lardo. It’s been planned for months now and everyone agreed that a few days as far away as possible would be for the best. The Zimmermann family cabin seemed like the obvious choice from the start, with its lake and swing set and just enough reception to make a phone call but not enough to load an article, and yet it took a while to convince Jack to go. It’s been a while since last time and he didn’t know if he wanted to risk tainting every happy memory, but Bitty managed to convince him eventually.

Jack tries to tell himself that it’s just another trip, just another weekend with his friends like all the times they went skiing or surfing or exploring, but he knows it’s more than that. And it deserves to be more than that. It’s huge. Everything has its time, good and bad, and everything that coming out entails isn’t an exception. It deserves memories too.

“This is gorgeous, Jack,” Bitty says on day one. The sun is shining just high enough for the water surface to catch it and it looks like a photograph. Like a picture perfect photograph. You can see the lake from the porch where they’re standing but that’s the only view besides trees that you get for miles in that direction. They’re not too far from the main road on the opposite side though, no matter how isolated it feels.

“Yeah, glad I brought my camera,” Jack says and puts his arms around Bitty’s waist from behind. He places a light kiss on the top of his head and then relaxes.

“I think we’ll wanna remember this. I think it’ll be good,” Bitty confesses. They’ve avoided any predictions thus far, but Jack’s gonna let this one slide. Mostly because he agrees.

“I don’t think we could forget it even if we tried.”

 

————

 

Day two and three are spent hiking and catching up. They pick a decent trail and walk until they don’t want to keep going anymore because it’s no longer about getting anywhere in particular. Shitty and Lardo tag along the first time, and it’s the most fun all of them have had together in months, but they stay at the cabin when Jack and Bitty decide to go again the next day.

An hour or two into that second time around they’re sitting on rocks with their backpacks to the side and looking at the view. Most of today’s hike was spent going uphill and now they can see the top of the small town church they passed on their drive here not long before turning onto the dirt road. Bitty picks up a blue flower, “to match your pretty eyes, Mr. Zimmermann”, and puts it behind Jack’s ear. Jack just thinks ‘this is what happiness is’ and kisses him breathless right there.

 

————

 

Day four is spent trying not to worry. He gets a text from George in the afternoon that tells him the plan is working so far, plus a ‘ _You’ll be out in less than 24 hours. I’m so proud of you’,_ and Jack can’t be sure exactly when she sent it because of the bad reception, but he sends back a thumbs up and turns his phone off.

No one mentions what’s about to happen tomorrow but they all know they need a distraction so they start a bonfire before it even gets dark. It’s a suggestion out of nowhere and no one has any objections. Jack pulls out some old patio lounge chairs from the shed and cleans them off while Shitty and Lardo gather every blanket in the entire cabin. Bitty brings out the food and beer just in time to sit down and they settle in together as the sun goes down.

“And then,” Shitty stops to laugh as he’s trying to tell the end of a very long story. Jack’s heard it before so he’s already laughing at what’s about to come while Bitty and Lardo can’t keep it in just from watching them. “And then he said… ‘dude, this is Harvard fucking Law, I don’t fucking care anymore’ and jumped. And the guy next to me sighed and was like ‘I really hope he defends me in my murder trial’ and jumped too, like what the actual fuck were they on?”

Jack can’t breathe at this point, he’s laughing so hard. Bitty’s throwing his head back onto Jack’s shoulder, laughing almost as much, and clutching the blanket around them like it’s going to keep them from falling out of the chair. Jack suspects Lardo’s probably heard it before too because she’s practically living with Shitty at this point even though she has her own apartment closer to work, but she’s still laughing the hardest.

“Harvard Law sounds ridiculous,” Bitty says when they’ve all calmed down. “We’ve gotta come visit next semester.”

“You better.” Shitty points a finger at them jokingly and then pops a piece of chocolate from the smores tray into his mouth.

It seems like the laughter ended up tiring most of them out and not even thirty minutes later both Bitty and Lardo are asleep. Bitty’s holding onto Jack instead of the blanket now and Jack gets stuck watching him like he always does. When he snaps out of it again he catches Shitty’s stare and knows he’s about to ask. He can feel the question buzzing under his skin and he’s not ready but he also never will be.

“So, now that Bits is asleep,” Shitty says and casually drinks the very last drops of beer left before continuing, “how’re you feeling about this, dude?”

Jack’s smile falters a bit but he immediately picks it up again when he realises Shitty’s just being genuinely curious. They haven’t talked about it much, especially not one on one, especially not with everyone at their busiest, and maybe they should’ve but. Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. The outcome will still be the same at the end of the day. At the end of _today_.

“It feels good. The timing feels right and we don’t have to deal with it for another couple of days now so… good.”

Lardo moves around a bit in her chair and they both look at her twisting and turning for a second before settling in again. Shitty’s smile is soft and comforting when his eyes are on her, it always is, but then he turns back to Jack.

“No, how does coming out feel? Forget about the other shit. Reactions, time, whatever.”

Jack knows he’s allowed to take his time answering. He’s never been very good at expressing himself when he’s feeling everything at once and Shitty, in his own way, is the same way. Jack gets quiet and thoughtful while Shitty gets loud and regretful. Both have their consequences. This time though, Jack tries not to think too much.

“You know, right before and after I overdosed I couldn’t imagine myself making it past twenty. I wanted to, more than anything, but I wasn’t supposed to-” he stops himself because it’s impossible to describe how much he thought his life was over when everyone else thought it had just begun. “I don’t know, I just never thought I’d see happy days again, you know? It was too messy to ever imagine any other future than disaster after disaster and now… I’m so happy to still be alive. I’m happy I got to have all of this.”

“So… you’re not scared about tomorrow?” Shitty holds his beer tight between his hands and leans forward. He looks pleasantly surprised and hopeful.

“Oh, I’m scared shitless,” Jack whispers and brushes his fingers through Bitty’s hair, smiling again. The light from the fire dances over Bitty’s freckles, flickering from dot to dot as the smoke rises upwards and onwards. “But I’m happy too. No regrets.”

“No regrets,” Shitty repeats a few seconds later.

They bask in the quiet for a while after that. The only sounds around are coming from the fire and the woods and Lardo occasionally snoring. Serene doesn’t even begin to describe it but it’s the closest thing to words that Jack can think of. The chaos and the judgement is so distant that he’s almost forgotten about what’s about to go down in just a few hours.

Eventually Bitty blinks awake though and lifts his head off of Jack’s chest to look up at him. Then there’s a yawn and a stretch and a ‘can we go to bed?’.

“Of course, bud,” Jack says and manages to get up on his feet with a lot more grace than expected while still carrying Bitty in a mess of blankets. The ground under his feet is still a little damp and slippery from some rain that fell earlier so he’s extra careful on his way towards the cabin, praying that he can carry him through this without falling flat. “See you tomorrow, Shits. Goodnight!” he whisper-shouts back towards the fire when he makes it to the porch.

Inside, under a ceiling that still holds glow-in-the-dark stars and posters of hockey glory, Jack dumps Bitty onto their bed and begins to remove his clothes. Bitty’s giggling and trying to convince Jack that he doesn’t have to but he’s also letting him do it. Suddenly, tomorrow feels easier.

“You’re the best, honey.” Bitty sighs and closes his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Bits.”  


————

 

“Jack?” Bitty asks into the dark, their legs tangled and Jack’s head on Bitty’s chest right above his arms around his waist. Light rain is hitting the window and it’s the sound of a storm approaching. Jack feels ready for it.

“Yeah?” It’s sleepy but aware.

“I’m really, _really_ happy you’re alive, too.”

Jack just holds him tighter.

 

————

  


Monday morning comes and goes and the world hasn’t ended yet. The rain killed the fire before time could though and the woods are louder than the night before; it's full of things that have woken up too, but Jack is still happy. Scared, but happy.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [jlzsoftie](https://jlzsoftie.tumblr.com) on Tumblr or [gloowel](https://twitter.com/gloowel) on Twitter! Please come talk to me about cryptids, musicals or how much you love Jack Zimmermann.


End file.
